! (by Eusen Eof)

23 01 2011

[This is a re-writing of Chekhov's short-story Hush! For the context surrounding its creation, I advise you see here]

, , , , . . , , :

“, , … . ! ?, , , , , !”

, … .

“,”, ” …. . ‘…. , , ‘ … …. ‘ …. .” Read the rest of this entry »





Eusen Eöf – ‘:?;)’

23 01 2011

Fans. They say that every writer has at least one. I used to be one. Yes indeed. Before I became a writer, I was a fan. My hero – and when I say hero, I mean object of an unhealthy obsession – was the young Norwegian novelist, Edmund ‘Blumin’ Ek. Believe it or not, I thought his writing style so exhilarating that I was prepared to marry him on this basis alone – without even meeting the man behind the words. In fact, I pretty much went on to do this. Mistake. Sexy syntax is not enough.

After the marriage ended, I started writing my own things. By this time, I had two fans of my own. One was small, beautiful, Japanese and hand-painted: an Ek family heirloom which I had received as part of the divorce settlement (god bless my lawyer!) The other fan was big bearded and Belgian: a man called Hercule, in whom my barely capable literary ability had ignited the obscure flames of love.

I’d like to say that I didn’t understand his fixation. Sadly, I did. Even if the putrid prose that pours from my fingertips has always lacked the golden honeyed sheen of Ek’s text, I know enough of life to understand that love and logic don’t always return each others’ calls. Read the rest of this entry »





Dinos Tierotis – Perseus and the Pepper Grinder

21 01 2011

[I have - in my role as editor - been known to criticise reviews with a tendency to meander off-topic. I have also, as this review reveals, written a few of the same...]

Starting two months ago – and ending last week, due to significant lack of interest – Thursday nights at The Crippled Bee (the finest public house in North London) were set aside for the pastime of Karaoke-Poetry. As I am not the greatest fan of this game (my dear young folk, what will you come up with next?) I will not launch into a discussion of it. I will not even stroll into a discussion of it. In fact, I hardly know why I mentioned it.

An echo of lost thought rebounds off a wall in my head and rockets into the present. As Johannes Speyer used to say: ‘memory was ever a shed of broken boomerangs’. Which is to say: I recall. Read the rest of this entry »





Niklas Naramaratov – With a Brief Gun: Memoirs of a Gun-Toting Madman

17 01 2011

Boredom.

What we mean by this word? The Oxford English Dictionary defines boredom as follows:

‘To be in a state of boredom; to be excessively bored. The state of boredom is often created by a notable lack of originality; by being forced to go through the same dull experience over and over and over again’

Tape up my sides, they’re splitting again. How I do love the beginning of Leo Barnard’s charmingly tiresome study A Rather Long History of Boredom. If only he kept up this spirit of gentle mockery throughout its two thousand pages, instead of attempting to fashion a world-changing theory. But then this is what Barnard does best: he tries, ever in vain, to create a palatable soup out of life’s many inedible ingredients. He nearly always fails, of course, but his failure is never less than interesting. I’ll give the old bore that.

Why does Barnard’s book come to mind just now? It comes to mind for two good reasons. Reason one (the major reason) is that I have just finished reading it – and, as any man would – I feel obliged to show off the fact that I have read it. Did you catch that? I’ve read all two thousand pages of Barnard’s A Rather Long History of Boredom (including the footnotes). Got it? Yes? Good. Now, where was I? Ah yes. Read the rest of this entry »





Wdj Szesz – Gdansk Haunting

15 01 2011

Beginnings and endings: I don’t care for them. There’s only one ending for me, and I haven’t got there yet. I didn’t think much about the beginning. One day I started writing and I’ll keep going till I die. That’s it, really – that’s the way I work. Is there another way?

That’s Wdj Szesz, speaking to yours truly in 2002. Here’s Leo Barnard, monotoning in a yawn-sprinkled auditorium sometime in 2005:

The verb ‘to know’ is an impossible verb. There is no knowing. The only knowing I can conceive is the knowing that one cannot know. All other knowing is a pretence: a meaningless charade.

To cap things off, here’s me, writing in a small Bavarian journal, late last year:

What it is to have experience!

A short quotation this last one, but pertinent in its way. For those who haven’t followed my career closely, you may like to be reminded that my last novel – also my first – contained a character with an unhealthy addiction to narcotic substances. Read the rest of this entry »





Surfing On Words: Georgy Riecke on Wolfgang Heizler’s Biography of Johannes Speyer

2 01 2011

Notorious though they may be, the last words of Johannes Speyer certainly bear repeating, if not only to remind readers that the author of this article was one of those fortunate enough to find himself amongst the hallowed company that circled the great writer’s hospital bed on that fateful day in January, 1984. ‘I have only read War and Peace twenty one times,’ croaked the pale-cheeked Speyer: ‘Therefore, I am a failure. Twenty-two – that is the true number’. And with this, he died.

Twenty two. He was referring, of course, to the number of times he felt a reader should read a book before being able to say with confidence that they had really read it. Twenty-two. In 1954 Speyer published a pamphlet in which he suggested a book should be read ‘around four times, for maximum effect’. By 1962, this figure had risen to seven. Read the rest of this entry »








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