Egor Falastrom – Dark Dreams of Delirious Dog-Catcher

21 12 2010

Upon first looking into Egor Falastrom’s Dark Dreams of a Delirious Dog-Catcher, I felt as though the sweet hands of love were slapping me tenderly in the face. The soft light of the setting sun crawled through a gap in my bedroom curtains and bestowed upon my grasping fingers a luminous glow. It was as if sticks of gold had grown from my hand. The moment was rich, ripe and eminently filmable. Never mind why the curtains were closed at such an hour. Do not worry your small head over these piddling details. Do I always wear make-up when I read Scandinavian literature? It matters not. Do we really need the soundtrack of sweeping violins? Possibly not – but let them stay. Am I busily restaging reality? Again: never mind. I was looking beautiful – and I was reading a beautiful book; with whose hero I was, in truth, in love. What more do you need to know?

I have read much of many men, travelling through kingdoms and states, strutting the proverbial stuff like peacocks, doing oh-so-heroic deeds. Yet, boy oh boy, I can honestly say that I have never come across any man who is the equal of Egor. Read the rest of this entry »





The De Roquet Rooms III: The Furniture of Prose

19 12 2010

[Introduction to the series]

By Maria Novak

Allow me to be plain with you. My proposal is as follows. Artists/writers/poets take inspiration from many things. They are magpies; the world is their oyster; they skip over the jump-ropes of genre with childish ease etc. They are, according to Leo Barnard, the ‘astronauts of far flung ideas’. The sense is of travel over great distances; of the brain’s cosmic range; of research much broader than that to which the mere academic is used. The mind of the true artist journeys afar – or so it is thought. And yet, as my own research has consistently proved, the regular patterns of artistic thought are actually shaped by the narrow environment in which a singular artist moves. I talk here of the working environment, that which Signorelle calls the ‘base camp’; most frequently no more than a room set aside, consciously or otherwise, for the purpose of imaginative creation.

How have I explored this? I showed how abstract artist Paul Vergeven was unknowingly inspired by the furniture introduced into the house by his home-improvement obsessed wife; how the eccentric architecture of poet Danae Hoppos’s house is reflected in her work (most particularly ‘Elegy for an Olive’) and why we will never understand the philosopher Timothy Montague-Haarke until we take a closer look into his fridge. Read the rest of this entry »





The De Roquet Rooms II: Practically Invading Space

19 12 2010

[Introduction to the series]

By Jinpes Terenk

Far too often the potential held by a piece of writing acts as a smokescreen for critics; subtlety nudging them away from the practicalities of its origins. And I speak for myself as much as for all those other blind mole rats scraping about in the dirt of European culture. Having entertained thoughts on the de Roquet rooms for some time, it was only yesterday that I responded to the simplest of questions concerning its creation – how did she manage to write on the ceiling? That she was not given free use of a step ladder is no less than a certainty. And though it is perfectly possible that what small furniture she did have could have been arranged to form some sort of tower-like structure, no one has yet gone so far as to explain exactly how this may have been set up. Nor has anyone sought the good counsel of an orthopaedic surgeon to determine the total strain on the neck caused by writing a novel on a high ceiling. And whilst the answers to these questions may not be especially interesting in themselves, the fact that so many have neglected to ask them is undoubtedly significant. What is about you lot that makes you so apprehensive about the fundamentals? In your eagerness to prise out pearls, you discard the shells wherein much of the worthy content really lies. Read the rest of this entry »





The De Roquet Rooms I: The Point Of It All

19 12 2010

[Introduction to the series]

By Jon José Engreido

If poor Natalie de Roquet had lived to explain the Implication of her Labours, what might she have said? The answer to this question will remain a Mystery Evermore; for though Miss de Roquet did manage to outlive her husband, it was not by much. Following Claude’s death, the door to her room was Unlocked. Natalie was allowed outside the bedroom door for the first time in twenty two years. In her excitement, she promptly Fell Down the Stairs and Died. An Ignoble end for a Noble Mind.

Yet the work lives on. Or at least, it does now, after an extended Hiatus during which the fruits of this Frenchwoman’s fertile mind were left out of the Gaze of anyone except a few Boorish Philistines. Breathe in, breathe out: everything is now All Right. Or is it? I’d be a fool to say that it was. We do have access to the de Roquet Rooms, but bend your shell-like ears a little closer and hear this: Access Is Restricted. Read the rest of this entry »





The De Roquet Rooms: Critical Approaches

19 12 2010

[In early 2007 I penned the following introduction to three critical approaches to the de Roquet rooms. Essential reading, if I may say so myself...]

Unless, like the proverbial ostrich (that well-known ornithological ignoramus) you have had your pretty head lodged in the sands of sciolism for the last four months or so, you will not require me to inform you that the de Roquet rooms are, at long last, open to visitors. In the generally gentle world of obscure European literature, this news could be said to have arrived with the force of a thunderbolt wielding elephant riding on the back of a meteorite. Outside of this relatively closed microcosm it may be said to have made as much of an impression as a nimble feather falling in an ocean during a vociferous storm. But you are one of us, are you not? You understand the profound significance of those things; you grasp the cogent potential that may be seen to coat the surface of seemingly nugatory disclosures. For was it not as far back as 1978 when we first put our names to the de Roquet petition? When, warm-blooded youngsters as we were, we marched along the streets of La Monche in our hundreds (or tens, maybe) holding aloft aesthetically – if not grammatically – challenging banners: ‘Ouvrir Les Chambres De Roquet!’ Read the rest of this entry »





Bo Bjǿ – Quite Smelly One Morning – and Sven Gǿranblúd – The Field of the Red

15 12 2010

I’ll forgive you for being confused. The winds of bewilderment have knocked us all about before. And they still blow strong. No amount of research can clear through these gallant storms of absurdity. Where is truth? The poor blighter has packed its bags and set off for a holiday in the Maldives, where the climate is somewhat less befogged. For if we were ever knee deep in the regions of ‘you-never-know’, we certainly are now. If you’ll only allow me to be your guide…

As you may already know, Bo Bjǿ is a writer who delights in all kinds of literary and literal perversions. The first ever Swedish transvestite to win the coveted Hoordeger Prize, he/she has published seven books under seven different names. Read the rest of this entry »





Roc Quarrét – Hewn

4 12 2010

Oh dear, I thought: it’s a fancy dress party. Why didn’t anyone tell me it was a fancy dress party? Here I am in my dull grey suit and it’s a fancy dress party! It wouldn’t be the first time that this had happened. Back at school I misread the date of a mufti day. Five hundred kids were kitted out in the coolest clothes they owned. I moped about in my uniform: a sea slug amongst brightly coloured anemones. A year later I did the same thing, but in reverse. There I was in my torn jeans and proud slogan-bearing t-shirt (‘Long Live Death’ was its peculiar proclamation) only to find everyone in their uniform. Know ye this: there’s some patch on my old school’s upper sports field that will be forever damp with my tears.

When the child becomes the man, he doesn’t stop making mistakes. He simply learns to cover them up with more skill (and cry about them a little less). So: how to slink my way out of this one? Read the rest of this entry »





Kirios Quebec – Reappraising Perversity, Reinventing Hope, Relocating Life

4 12 2010

Nothing is more guaranteed to shoot an arrow of despair through the skull of an embittered, cynical critic, prejudicing all subsequent comment, than an absurd and portentous title, especially one that seems over-laden with the buzz-words of critical theory and to be collapsing under the weight of facile wordplay. You might think that there were only so many sub-Derridean, metafictional, psychosexual, gender-bending, cryptological, feminist cyber-thrillers possible in this one small world, but, oh, my friend, you have not walked the edge of the abyss.

So, on being handed this three-part novel to review by French-Greek writer, Kirios Quebec, my hand strayed longingly over the cyanide capsules in my drawer and my old school tie before tightening round my grandfather’s old second world war pistol, hidden as ever behind the moose’s head in the hallway. Its metal weighed heavy in my hands and my mind as I threw it carelessly from left to right. Tempting as it was to end an existence made wearisome by an excess of predictable postmodern novels, it struck me as a much better idea to terminate the contract with breathing of the incorrigible cobble-headed baboon who actually forces me to confront these crimes against sanity on a monthly basis – none other than my editor, the satanic, sadistic, Slavo-Teutonic slave-driver, Georgy Riecke. Read the rest of this entry »








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