The clouds were heavy with snow, but polite enough to wait until
having then been divorced a total of six times it occurred to me
we’d got back home before unloading their icy waste. It was Sunday
that if I took the first number from each of my ex-wives phone
afternoon and we were taking a walk, because god knows there
numbers, put them in a random order, and then rang that number,
was nothing else to do. On the way we passed a lone crow who
I might discover a woman who possessed all the best qualities
looked to be enjoying the merciless weather. At least that’s what I
of my former partners. Putting this plan to the test, the number I
thought. T, moreover, quite passionately protested. ‘This whole
arrived at was 443719. Then one night, shortly after twelve o’
menacing crow business drives me up the wall’ he said. ‘Why do
clock, I made the important call. I counted thirteen rings before
people blindly suppose that crows are evil? Where, I ask, is the
someone answered. ‘Unlucky’ I said, aloud. ‘What was that?’ replied
evidence? Outside of a film or a book, have you ever come across
the woman. ‘Excuse me,’ I said, ‘what I meant to say was actually –
a truly malevolent crow? This pathetic prejudice is based on
will you marry me?’ She ignored this. ‘But what did you say at first?’
fairy tales: the crude association between the colour black and
she insisted on asking. ‘I said “unlucky”,’ I explained, ‘but it was
cruelty’. He stopped for breath and was just about to continue when
nothing to do with you’. ‘Mmm’ she said. Her voice reminded me
interrupted by a chilling scream coming from the tree behind us,
of eating clotted cream fudge. ‘’Spose you reckon I’m your perfect
where our crow-friend appeared to be pecking the brains out of
woman?’ she said. ‘Right’. ‘Been divorced six times?’ ‘Right again.’
a small white bird. ‘But I bet the white bird started it’ said T.
‘Weird’ she said. ‘Why do they always come up with my number?’
(Pierre Monceau and Jean-Pierre Sertin)
